"I'm a Gambler"

So immediately after my tilt-inducing fucked up hand last night, this curious exchange occurred with the guy on my immediate left.

I had just pulled another $500 buy-in from my pocket and put it on the table, and was dealt 22 in the SB. There was a Mississippi straddle to $10 on the button, so I was the first to act PF in the SB. I call the $10 straddle, and then guy on my right in the BB raises to $45. Its folded around to me and I call. Yeah, a bit tilty.

The flop is K-J-9. Another air ball, and I check. BB quickly checks. I just want him to bet so I can fold and regroup.

Turn is J, check-check. River is a small card, and we check-check again.

As I am turning over my deuces, I say, "I think I missed a bet." An honest statement, because his three checks would seem to indicate extreme weakness.

This guy turns over two queens, and says, "No, I wasn't going anywhere." Then, he launches into an odd speech.

"I wasn't going anywhere. I would have called if you bet. I'm a gambler. I don't want to take anyone's chips. You don't want me to take your chips, do you? Because I would have called. There's no way I would fold to a bet. That flop didn't scare me, and I would have called."

This goes on for a bit as he keeps pestering me with different variations of this question. "Do you want me to take your chips? Cause I'm a gambler, and I will if you want me to." He was yapping earlier, before this speech, so I don't think he's trying to encourage my tilt. He's not that clever. He's just one of these guys that boasts and yammers a lot. He's maybe 55, and sort of socially inept. However, I am in no mood for his bullshit.

Its like I am playing an odd logic game, and my options are:
A. Tell him to shut the fuck up (not really my character)
B. Ignore him (impossible, since he won't shut up on his own)
C. Reply with an honest response
D. Escalate the dispute, to induce his tilt

I selected "C. Honest response" and went this route: "Gee, and here I thought we were playing poker to take each others' chips."

Apparently, this is the wrong approach, and I have suddenly hit a nerve. The rant is just getting started

"I didn't want to take your chips," he continues. "I'm really a nice guy, but I'm a gambler. I just like friendly poker. If I don't like someone, I will go after them and take all their chips. You don't want to get on my bad side, cause I will take all your chips. I can't stand assholes at the table. That's what gets me going. And I can gamble. I've placed five-figure bets on the craps table. I gamble big, so you don't want to mess with me."

What the hell did I do to deserve this? This goes on as the hands continue. I have shifted into 'ignore mode' and now I am silent, to no avail. He continues. "Do you know how to play craps?" Yes, but I remain silent.

"See those craps tables over there?" He's now kneeling on his seat, twisting around and pointing. "I placed a ten thousand dollar odds bet when I was rolling for a six. Ten thousand dollars! I'm not afraid to gamble. I can gamble big, if that's what you want to do."

As a general rule, I stay quiet at the tables. I don't talk during hands. I will engage in friendly conversation between hands, mostly to gather information. But I am not at the poker table to make friends or for the social interaction. I am there to win and take everyone's chips, plain and simple.

So, I have absolutely no idea why The Gambler launched into me. As he is rambling, I replay the last few orbits to see if there is something I did to set him off. The only thing I can think about, however, is the horrible hand where I just donked off my $750 stack to Mega-Rock who flopped a set of kings.

I remain silent, and while The Gambler is still babbling I run QQ into AA and proceed to donate another buy-in to the Mega-Rock. I think I was on tilt, but I'm not really sure. My poker judgment was far too cloudy at that point to properly assess what was happening. I guess clouded judgment is my form of tilt.

I finally got to escape The Gambler. What a sad poker night.