Translation of everything Michael Vick has said in public:
“Sorry? Oh, hell yeah I tell you I sorry! I say whatever you want, I be as remorseful as a muthafucka, as long as you show me da moneyz! Then after I get enough ‘fuck you’ money back in da bank, watch how I tell da man to suck it, beeyoch.”
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Ocean's 11
Last week, Thursday night to be exact, I played my first session in a California card room. We spent a week near San Diego on vacation, and the Ocean's 11 casino was 6 miles from where we stayed. I snuck away after a day-long series of exhausting activities with the kids, and put in a 4-5 hour poker session.
I played in the $5/5 game, with a $500-1500 buy-in. I sat with $1000. The game was populated by a mix of grinding regulars who possess no other discernable life-skills, a few machismo 20-something players, and a sprinkling of degenerate gamblers. The action was fueled by the punks and the gamblers, as you would expect, and it was easy to peg the other players within 4-5 orbits.
One 50-ish guy played the part of the gentlemanly drunkard poker expert. He was pounding red wine and habitually over-raising 6 of every 10 pots. He had the appearance of an accountant, but disclosed he lived in Del Mar. I could only assume that he essentially lived at the racetrack.
At one point, he slammed his wine long before the waitress returned, and consequenly tried to buy two glasses at once. When the waitress demurred ("I can only bring one glass to a customer at a time") I chimed in: "I'll have a glass of whatever he's drinking." When she brought our drinks, I donated mine to him. It was accepted with great thankfulness.
Does that make me an evil player? Soon thereafter, I made a critical mistake in a pot against him and moved to the main game down $500. Sigh.
I reloaded to $1000. I gained the appearance of a super-tight nit, mainly because I was getting absolute shit for cards. I started bluffing in opportune spots because they were giving me credit for big hands whenever I played. I limped UTG with junk, and after a $35 raise by Red Wine and a call by Surly Asian Kid, I popped it to $150. They fled in fear, acting like it was obvious what I held. Hehe.
The evening culminated in a pot involving Red Wine, an ugly woman who was bitching about how little Red Wine was tipping after he won small pot after small pot, and myself. I flopped the nuts with 56o on a 4-7-8 rainbow board. I checked in the BB, Ugly Woman led out, Red Wine raised, I re-raised, and Ugly Woman pushed for $1200!
Red Wine folded after some theatrics, and I called, assuming that a paired board would end my night with sadness. I showed and the table gasped, mainly because they were surprised to see that I played low unsuited cards in a pot raised pre-flop. The 4 paired on the turn, and I braced for the worst. The river was a J, and Ugly announced to the dealer, "You didn't help me." She mucked and grumbled out the door.
I assume she had either AA or 78. I'll never know.
I ended the night up over $1000, and decided that I like California card rooms.
I played in the $5/5 game, with a $500-1500 buy-in. I sat with $1000. The game was populated by a mix of grinding regulars who possess no other discernable life-skills, a few machismo 20-something players, and a sprinkling of degenerate gamblers. The action was fueled by the punks and the gamblers, as you would expect, and it was easy to peg the other players within 4-5 orbits.
One 50-ish guy played the part of the gentlemanly drunkard poker expert. He was pounding red wine and habitually over-raising 6 of every 10 pots. He had the appearance of an accountant, but disclosed he lived in Del Mar. I could only assume that he essentially lived at the racetrack.
At one point, he slammed his wine long before the waitress returned, and consequenly tried to buy two glasses at once. When the waitress demurred ("I can only bring one glass to a customer at a time") I chimed in: "I'll have a glass of whatever he's drinking." When she brought our drinks, I donated mine to him. It was accepted with great thankfulness.
Does that make me an evil player? Soon thereafter, I made a critical mistake in a pot against him and moved to the main game down $500. Sigh.
I reloaded to $1000. I gained the appearance of a super-tight nit, mainly because I was getting absolute shit for cards. I started bluffing in opportune spots because they were giving me credit for big hands whenever I played. I limped UTG with junk, and after a $35 raise by Red Wine and a call by Surly Asian Kid, I popped it to $150. They fled in fear, acting like it was obvious what I held. Hehe.
The evening culminated in a pot involving Red Wine, an ugly woman who was bitching about how little Red Wine was tipping after he won small pot after small pot, and myself. I flopped the nuts with 56o on a 4-7-8 rainbow board. I checked in the BB, Ugly Woman led out, Red Wine raised, I re-raised, and Ugly Woman pushed for $1200!
Red Wine folded after some theatrics, and I called, assuming that a paired board would end my night with sadness. I showed and the table gasped, mainly because they were surprised to see that I played low unsuited cards in a pot raised pre-flop. The 4 paired on the turn, and I braced for the worst. The river was a J, and Ugly announced to the dealer, "You didn't help me." She mucked and grumbled out the door.
I assume she had either AA or 78. I'll never know.
I ended the night up over $1000, and decided that I like California card rooms.
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